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The joys of Christmas

Dec 20, 2009 Features / Columnists, My Column

By Adam Harris

These are really interesting days. Everyone comes out, even the mosquitoes and the roaches. And it always happens at this time of the year. Indeed Christmas always brings out the people and every other thing.
This is the time of year when the criminals follow people like leeches because they know that some people do not like to use the banks for one reason or the other and so they walk with their money knotted in so many pieces of cloth and in paper bags.
It is also the time when employers decide to give their staff something extra so pay day always involves a slightly larger package. Of course, the employers use the bank and since for some reason the staff members do not like to use the bank the employer is forced to cash cheques and transport the money by whatever means to the place of pay.
On other occasions I have repeatedly suggested that every employer should do what the Education Ministry and some other Government Ministries do—pay people by cheque or deposit money in the banks and let the worker withdraw as the need arises.
But it is what comes out that catches my eye. I hate driving around downtown Georgetown at this time of the year because even the old cars come out to further clutter the narrow streets that we have. There is little or no parking so more often than not people like me would slot myself into a no parking area and try to do whatever business I have to, hoping to transact it in the shortest possible time.
I am heartened by the fact that the congested streets do not allow for easy roaming of the tow trucks. So it is that the very tow trucks would be in a position to be towed if anyone has the courage to attach a piece of rope or a length of chain to a tow truck and pull it to some other location.
But as I was saying, many things and people have come out of the woodwork. I have seen women of all sizes and shapes on the streets. I never knew that Guyana had so many pretty women. Indeed I knew that there were pretty women but not in those numbers.
I could have been a victim of many fender-benders had I not more than a few times convinced myself that I am a big man and that I should let the people girl children walk the streets, regardless of how many traps they set for people like me.
For the greater part, many were outfitted in jeans so tight that nothing was left to the imagination. Indeed, the new jeans are cut so low and the girls of today have tattoos on their behinds and some, just over the pubic area that men must be driven to distraction.
To make matters worse, they stroll across the streets and there is nothing that drivers like me could do but sit and wait. I have seen waistlines so small that it seemed as if the woman would break if someone should grab the woman too tight.
But I have seen others as unattractive as hell, grown women with waistlines so large that the belly hangs over the waist of the pants. This is some old age phenomenon but older people always say that people should exhibit some decency when they dress. Older women should not try to dress in the same way as teenagers; they often make themselves objects of ridicule.
There are buxom youths who, as they walk, give the impression that they have two young boys strapped to their lower back and fighting all the way. This is perhaps the most pleasant sight of the season.
The place is warm. There are no rains as there once was during December leaving people to associate the month with rains. It was December 14, 2005 that the rains came with a vengeance and flooded the lands right until March, destroying so much.
The warm weather has some women dressed with the barest minimum. These shorts are also joys to behold but some of the legs that protrude are not what pretty legs are. Too much cellulite; but I suppose one must mix the coarse with the fine. Everything cannot be beautiful; there must be the oddities to make the beauty stand out.
These things help me to make the holidays bright. I do not need a lot of money to have a nice time.

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