Randy’s randkluft

Oct 09, 2009 Features / Columnists, Freddie Kissoon

Pardon my poor German (Deutsch). I learnt a little bit of it under the tutelage of Boyo Ramsaroop during my teen days. Randkluft is a huge chasm that occurs when an iceberg loses a big chunk.
There is an enormous chasm in the defence of the Guyana Government by its latest spin doctor, Randy Persaud. You will recall, yesterday’s column was on his letter that he wrote in the Stabroek News informing the Guyanese Diaspora that contrary to what KN and SN carry, positive things are happening in Guyana. I did indicate in yesterday’s piece that I will do a follow up. Here it is.
I am not sure Randy’s employers are going to be happy with him. If you are going to spin for a tyrannical regime, you have to be good. Tyranny is about cruelty. Dictatorship is about denial of freedoms. Authoritarianism is about the naked use of power with contempt for laws and constitutional documents.
The Guyana Government is an elected dictatorship. It encompasses tyrannical behaviour (talk to Mark Benschop and Oliver Hinckson) and authoritarian instincts. If Randy is going to spin, he has to avoid the pitfalls of his spin colleague, Dr. Prem Misir.
Here is just a brief example of the spinning wheel of Dr. Misir. He accuses this columnist of not including the good things that the Government does. But he is a columnist like me. And I don’t see his writings include the bad things the government does.
Of course, you can anticipate what Dr. Misir will say; “Which bad things, Freddie?” To which I will reply, “Which good things, Prem?” Anyway let’s return to Randy’s randkulft. Let’s peep down the chasm to see what’s down there. Please do not accuse me of lying. I have had blackouts everyday the past eight days with one episode lasting fifteen hours. I warn you, not to accuse me of lying because it is the truth.
We had a session from Monday night that lasted fifteen hours going into the afternoon of the next day. Randy tells the Diaspora that the electricity situation will improve soon. Randy hasn’t been living in Guyana the past seventeen years when the PPP took over from the plausible government of Desmond Hoyte. Each year as the electricity crisis worsened, Guyanese are told it will improve. Only Randy doesn’t know this.
Here is something Randy doesn’t know. The three Wartsila plants his government bought are not new ones from the makers in Finland. They are second hand-stuff that came from Suriname. (Dr Roger Luncheon at a press conference last week said otherwise). I could go on to tell Randy more about these three little things but I’m afraid of libel even though it is the truth that I will bring out because I have the facts of the whole arrangement.
Stick around Randy, and next year, when the bestial pangs of blackout intimidate the citizenry, we will hear that refrain – “the electricity situation will improve soon.”
The randkluft in Randy’s presentation is large indeed. No mention is made of the collapse of the sewage system in Georgetown. Now if my memory serves me right, Randy, Georgetown is the nerve-centre of Guyana. A few elite restaurants are feeling the effect of the miasma. I ate at two of them last week, and the stench of rotting feces was all around. Did you have that experience Randy where you live in Washington, D.C?
This guy Randy Persaud is a funny fellow, I tell you. Randy explained to the Guyanese Diaspora that good things are happening because he went to a fair in Guyana named GUYEXPO and in two consecutive evenings, the attendance was 25, 000 (I hope that figure is not propaganda statistics, you borrowed from GINA, Randy? The GUYEXPO people placed the figures at three and five thousand respectively based on the tickets they put out for sale).
Well, my boy, Randy, there were large crowds that attended fairs in Stalin’s USSR and Hitler’s Germany. These were regimes that were bestial with semi-civilized use of power. By the way, Randy, people went to the circus and the fair in Uganda when Idi Amin was murdering his people.
Oh, I had a friend who went to a fair in Iraq when Saddam Hussein was in power.
He told me the crowds were enormous and then a gunfight broke out and people just went about their business as if nothing happened.
Another friend told me that he was at a fair in Chile when Augusto Pinochet was in his murderous days and he couldn’t get in because the crowds were too much.
So what else is happening in Guyana Randy under your favourite government whose existence poor Doodnauth Singh helped to secure and they turn around and hassled him to get his gratuity to pay his medical bills? That was bad Randy!

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