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Nah all ting bright and beautiful

Jul 03, 2009 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

Right now some people preparing to challenge one another fuh represent Guyana at a contest wheh de people got to be beautiful, intelligent and tall enough to attract attention. Fifteen of dem jump up and join up. Was more than 15 but is only 15 of dem get shortlist suh dem was the final set.
De organizer decide to parade these gyal in front of people who dem claim was de sponsors. Was suppose to be some sashing ceremony and de few people who get invite clap. Is a good thing dem was a few because de regulars woulda see de problems.
Dem boys seh that you can see a nice woman and feel that she got carat. But as soon as she open she mouth you want to fall down because is a colour of a different horse and not de other way round.
Some of dem boys try to talk to these gyal at de ceremony and dem end de conversation real quick. Dem know that trouble been right around de corner.
Dem boys seh that dem ain’t seh nutten because dem didn’t want to get accuse of brucking up anything.  Dem allow dem gyal to parade in dem bikini and was a sight to behold. Dem look alright except quite a few wanted some meat pun bones. Some of dem was so thin that de bikini foot was too large.
One man seh that is a good thing dem was not man because a lot of things woulda fall out. That pass and gone and again, is only a few people get a glimpse. People still want know who decide to put these same gyal in front de whole country.
None of dem is an Olive Gopaul; none is Odessa Phillips and dem was de real contenders fuh a crown and even dem fall short. Gopaul was bright. She know English and Spanish and she was a teacher. De other gyal was a University graduate, suh was bright and beautiful people.
This crop was something else. Dem ain’t know English but dem boys didn’t know till dem see de intelligence section pun TV. One gyal claim how Berbice people is hospital. That mean that de whole of Berbice sick. Is when de thing done that dem know she did want to seh hospitable.
One of dem claim that she would like to be lawyer and she ain’t got problem shooting people when dem try fuh run away. If dem get arrest fuh a traffic violation like jumping a major road and de police stop dem and dem run away—shoot dem.
That was just piece of de action. De gyal talk and talk. If you hear wrang English but she talk. Dem boys seh that dem remember she from de last time. She enter a contest and when de result announce and she lose, she faint. De person who win had to ketch she. This is de same person who want to represent Guyana pun de world stage—fuh faint again when she ain’t even mek de cut.
Ánd what about de one who claim that she platform is child abuse? Dem boys shame. If a teacher give a child one box that is child abuse, but this same person gun more than box nuff children when dem talk she name about how she perform in de intelligence segment.
People talk bout carbon credit; dem talk bout environment and none of dem ain’t talk bout social work except the one who call physically challenged people ‘Needy.’
Some of dem boys still laughing and dem want to know whether Guyana trying to promote a comic strip pun de world stage.
Anyhow, one of dem boys understand business. He claim that once you got pageant in Guyana you gun mek money, and once you mek money you don’t care wha happen next. It might be a good thing to send a monkey because de people in de pageant gun have genuine laughter.
Is not that dem boys got anything against beauty pageant and dem know that dem local gyal really nice, but is dem intelligence, and that is wheh de problem deh.
Talk half. Lef half.

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