MIAMI HEAT

May 11, 2009 Features / Columnists, Tony Deyal column

It is not yet summer and already it is mucho caliente in Miami. It is as if a hot, hot habanero has burst in the arroz y frijoles or there is too much jalapeno in the chili con carne. Whatever it is, the carne and the con seem to be more prevalent than usual.

Let’s start with the carne. As they say, two-carne play at the same game, especially if the juego in question is the oldest pursuit on earth, the one that makes it go round in fact. What makes this particular fleshly philandering more noteworthy than usual is that it was conducted by a man of the cloth who, seemingly, took off most of it to dally with a damsel on the sunlit shores of Miami beach.

The aptly-named Father Cutié (first name Albert), a.k.a. “Father Oprah” because of his advice to the lovelorn on the radio network of the Miami archdiocese, is no longer on the air or at the St. Francis de Sales Roman Catholic Church in Miami Beach where he is the pastor.

Father Oprah starred in a soap opera of his own and created uproar, a real-life telenovela. Pictures of Cutié embracing a cutie at a bar and on the beach surfaced. According to the Associated Press (AP), Cutie headed the archdiocese’s Radio Paz and Radio Peace broadcasts, heard throughout the Americas and in Spain. The Puerto Rican born Cutié, 40, first appeared on television in 1999 as the host of “Padre Alberto,” a daily talk show on Telemundo.

He later hosted another show, “America en Vivo,” also on Telemundo. Since 2002, Cutié has hosted a popular radio programme called “Hablando Claro con el Parde Alberto,” as well as serving as director of Pax Catholic Communications. In 2006 he published a self-help book “Real Life, Real Love: 7 Paths to a Strong, Lasting Relationship.”

While helping himself to some forbidden fruit, he took the wrong path and was caught by a paparazzo. The man tried helping himself by first going to the Mega TV network and asking US$100,000 for the photos and video. The network was not sure of the authenticity of the pictures or the morality of showing them.

TVnotas, a Spanish-language magazine, was not burdened by any such ethical dilemma and “outed” Father Cutié before you could say “amor”. Using the headline “Santo Dios!” (My God!), the magazine ran pictures of Father Cutié stretched on a towel next to a bikini-clad brunette who has her arms draped over him and who then reaches over to kiss him.

One news report claims, “Cutié, who took a vow of celibacy, was ‘seen hugging, kissing and putting his hand inside the bikini bottom’ of the woman. The pics, taken on three different days, purport to show the reverend strolling on the beach and hitting a nearby bar. ‘We know that [the images] will surprise many,’ Juan Alejandro García, editorial director of TV Notas USA, told univision.com.”

The Archdiocese responded quickly. Miami Archbishop, John C. Favalora, released a statement saying he was “deeply saddened by the news surrounding Father Alberto Cutié.” The statement continued, “”I apologize on behalf of the Church in Miami to the parishioners of Saint Francis de Sales Parish, where he serves as administrator, to the listeners and supporters of Radio Paz and Radio Peace, and to the entire Archdiocese. Father Cutié made a promise of celibacy and all priests are expected to fulfill that promise with the help of God.”

Favalora did not mention the former occupant of the Bishopric of Paraguay, Fernando Lugo, now President of that country, who fathered several children while still in the clergy.

After the carne comes the con. Two Miami Herald journalists, Jay Weaver and Donna Gehrke-White reported on December 15, 2003 that insurers for the Archdiocese of Miami paid $9.3 million for settlement, legal and counselling costs to resolve sexual-abuse claims against its priests and other employees.

They said that the payments covered some of the archdiocese’s 90 abuse claims by minors. They added, “The eight-page report, which included a letter of apology from Archbishop John C. Favalora for the nationwide clergy scandal, disclosed for the first time that 38 South Florida priests were accused of sexual misconduct since the archdiocese was founded in 1958.”

Favalora apologized “for any action or inaction on my part that has lessened your sense of trust in the Catholic Church and its ministers.”

Clearly the Archbishop is by now an expert at apologising. I am not sure if he also apologised for the Reverend Francis Guinan and Monsignor John Skehan. They were charged with stealing cash from their Florida church’s offering plate and hiding the money in the church ceiling and offshore bank accounts to pay for their lavish lifestyles. They fled the country before the trial.

According to AP, “The accusations shocked parishioners, who said they never suspected anything and recalled how the kindly Skehan, 81, loved to read to their children.” The report continued, “Guinan, 66, was accused of stealing $488,000 during the 19 months after he became pastor in September 2003.

Skehan, who had been at the church 40 years, is accused of taking $370,000 between 2001 and 2006, the timeframe under which he can be charged because of a statute of limitations. Auditors think he stole more than $8 million over 20 years…

Prosecutors say the priests plucked cash from the offering plate and spent it on upscale homes, gambling trips to Las Vegas with a mistress, even a $275,000 rare coin collection.”

It would be interesting to see what happens to Cutié. Despite the smoking gun, they believe he “may” have broken his vow of chastity. A media report says, “Diocese officials said he is on a ‘prayerful journey’. That usually begins with an abrupt kick out the church’s door.”

The brunette cutie would probably write a book and make a lot of money. Guinan and Skehan would still end up with millions. But I don’t feel sorry for Cutié. He may get the boot but he also got the booty.

* Tony Deyal was last seen going on a “prayerful journey” to Miami where he plans to have a Cuban “Media Noche” sandwich with the President of Paraguay at the Archbishopric.