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Today is Bharrat birthday

Jan 23, 2009 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

On Tuesday dem boys join everybody and celebrate, not that dem really care who is de United States president, but because dem had people who really care and these people push dem hand in dem pocket and really spend. One man spend so much that he forget that he didn’t pay he rent. That is when fight nearly start.
One of dem boys tell he to go to Obama fuh a raise because he spend he money celebrating Obama. Yet some find time to laugh.
Is tradition that every outgoing US president does lef a message in a drawer in de Oval Office for the incoming president. Well everybody wondering is wha nice words George Bush lef fuh Barack. Dem boys does know everything, and dem get fuh find out dat de message was short and to de point, “I SCREW UP, YOU TRY DEH”. Pun de other side of de paper was another note. ‘DON’T CALL ME.’
But that is no big thing because anybody who call Bush got to be begging fuh money because de man rich. He got oil money. But then again, is de same Bush who mek oil cheap today and he supporters thankful.
But is not everybody suh happy. A man deh trying fuh mek a dollar pun a coconut estate. But dem always got people who don’t want to wuk but dem willing to rob whoever wuk. De other day, three of dem tun up at a house in Mahaica and shoot and kill a young father. De police come.
Dem boys can’t remember de last time dem see police wid tracker dog but that day when de youth man get shot and killed de police tun up wid a dog. De people cheer and de dog bark and sit down. Then de police give a command and de dog roll over. It wouldn’t budge.
De policeman pick up a food bowl and run in de bush. De dog run behind he and de people clap some more because dem believe that de dog gun pick up de scent of the killers and follow dem.
Since then, all dem boys hearing is “When last you see or hear we police dog dem track down anything? All dem animal know fuh do is fuh eat food and sleep. Dem tek after de people who training dem.”
Dem police dog just like some people who does go to parliament. De other day dem go and some start fuh sleep. De majority only wait fuh de break when food does share. Dem get a shock. Was sour food de people bring. From de time dem boys enter de dining room was sour food.
Sherlock get vex because de Speaker hungry and he couldn’t carry that food to de man. When he ask de girl from de catering place wha kind of sour food she bring de girl holler how is some special seasoning. Couple tek she at she word and eat. Four reporters still in de toilet and two vomit till dem eye sink in and people wondering if dem got de big truck or deh pun a special diet.
Bharrat losing weight too because he tek on Varshnie. He put out de woman because dem separate but de woman decide to live in de house like if is Bharrat own. Is State House and it got some real old fashion bed that does give good sleep. But enough is enough and Bharrat wanted he space because today is he birthday and he want to host a big party tonight. Dem boys seh that he planning a real social. He invite Peeping Tom.
De woman get vex and hold a press conference. If you hear she story. It mek some people shame but de lady didn’t care. She talk how mosquito murder she but she still stay; she talk how she didn’t have money to buy clothes and she talk how she never cook fuh she husband.
Dem boys want fuh know wha mek Varshnie las’ suh long wid Bharrat. Why she stay round fuh a whole ten years? Something don’t sound right wid dat story.
Just like de story bout de farmer who go wid a wheelbarrow to collect compensation. When Robert done wid he de whole country laugh because Robert compensate he wid a li’l guava tree and two seed. Of course when de man complain Robert get vex and seh that there is more to come.
Dem boys know dat some of dem government man like play like if dem gat mo’ seed than bolanjay, but dem never know dat dem had so much fuh give away. But Robert promise more.
Well, when he seh that, de man hurry along he way because he ain’t able wid another guava tree and he certainly ain’t want more seeds.
Talk half. Lef half.

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