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Is three fuh one, ask Gerry

Nov 28, 2008 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

Stricter de government wiser de population and dem boys know that. De other day a man smart de police and when he done he enjoy de situation two ways.
Dem boys seh that de whole thing start when a man thief a neighbour duck and decide to cook it. De whole thing happen at Herstelling, East Bank Demerara. Was a Saturday.
De neighbour miss de duck and when she check de bottom house wheh de cooking was tekking place she see she duck feather.
Right away she call de police who come quick because dem hear that de man cooking de duck and dem ketch de man wid de pot. De policeman fuhget to walk wid de duck feathers. He mek de man put de pot pun he head and walk to the police station. If you hear talk.
“Walk wid de evidence. Is that same evidence gun land you tail in jail fuh a long time. You know predial larceny is a serious crime and you gun thief de lady duck? Is jail fuh you. Walk quick wid de evidence.”
De policeman walking side by side wid de man who got de pot pun he head. Dem boys seh that dem see de man raising he hand inside de pot and putting something in he mouth. This go on for a long time because de station was a li’l distance away. At last dem reach.
De policeman, when he near de station, start fuh talk hard because he believe that he gun get a promotion. “You believe that you can thief people property and get away wid it?”
Dem boys seh that when dem reach inside de station compound de policeman tell de man fuh put down de evidence leh people see it. “That is wha sending you to jail.” At de same time he look inside de pot.
“Wheh de evidence? How de evidence disappear?” One policewoman buss out a laugh and tell de policeman how he stupid like a man born pun a dark night.
But it look like if dem have police more stupid than he. Imagine de big boss of de police force decide that he gun check de situation at all dem police station. He start wid Kitty, then Alberttown, then Sparendaam and it continue.
At every station de station sergeant does put de ranks through de drill. Well every time that happen is sheer laugh. One of dem boys nearly get lock up fuh laughing too loud. The charge was disturbing de peace and mekking a nuisance of himself in a public place.
However, de people who try to march could not find dem left foot. Some of dem did not even know right from lef. And de best of dem didn’t have timing.
Then dem does tempt de boss man wid food. But de boss got to check de books and de accounts. De other day he shame heself. He check de book and sign it but shortly after he lef, de accounting officer find $2.4 million missing from de station. De man who thief it in de lock ups but separate from de prisoners.
Dem boys seh that de big boss had to drop to sleep while checking and that is how he miss de theft. Is de same way he miss de road de other night when he was driving home.
And some people checking de papers to see if dem miss anything. Last year de papers had an advertisement that offer fuh privatization. It show that dem was offering two adjacent property in Stabroek; a corner property in Kingston and some place name Duke Lodge.
Dem boys seh that de next thing dem know is that Duke Lodge sell and dem want to know if de other property sell to de same man because was one tender fuh all. A couple days later dem see a separate offer fuh tender fuh Duke Lodge. Dem boys want to know if somebody bluffing.
Talk half. Lef half.

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