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Donald meter spinning like buck top

Nov 14, 2008 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

Next year this time dem gun have plenty babies in this country and GPL got to tek credit. Is a long time people always talking bout de population small and how a country this size shoulda got at least 50 million people because England got that number and it ain’t bigger than Guyana.
Fuh years people been discussing this population thing and dem come up wid all kind of suggestions. One man claim how de government should kidnap people from overseas and bring dem to live here; another man seh that it would be a good thing fuh de government to announce that dem have plenty gold in de country and all who come gun get a plot of land wid gold and dem only got to scratch de surface and dem gun find gold.
De fuss time dem boys hear that dem actually buy up things fuh go in de bush but dem couldn’t find a claim.
Anyhow, it was Brassington who come up wid de idea fuh populate de country. He tell Bharrat that if he ton off de light as soon as night set in then people gun stop going pun de road. When dem stay home dem ain’t gun be able to watch television or play radio.
According to dem boys, is only one thing left fuh dem to do and that is to engage in de oldest fun in de world. That fun will lead to a population growth and that is just what happening.
Go to every house when is blackout and is sheer groaning and moaning dem boys does hear. Is like a disco.
But one man really happy wid de blackout. He actually begging dem fuh keep off de light because he gun save money. De only thing is that he gun have some problem pressing he clothes fuh go to Freedom House when de day come.
Donald get vex wid GPL because of de meter de Company give he. When GPL install de meter dem tell Donald that de old one had a problem and that it wasn’t reading right. Being a good socialist, Donald agree to de change.
Dem boys seh that when de fuss light bill come in, he holler. He claim how de PNC had a hand in de plight because de bill is now four times wha it should be. He call Robert, not de Agriculture one, and dem had a discussion. That was when Robert, from de PNC, tell he that he got de same problem and he thought was Donald who cause it.
And is a real problem. De meter spinning even when dem got blackout. As soon as de breeze blow de meter spinning and de harder de breeze blowing is de faster de spinning.
And dem boys seh that de police using a meter that got people behaving like if dem in a strange country. All of a sudden speed cut. A man or a woman come out from somewhere and point a meter at a car that coming and is like if somebody pass a death sentence pun de driver.
De other day a man driving like if he deh pun de race track. De traffic policewoman spot he coming and step out from behind a minibus and point de meter. De driver crash into de same minibus because he try fuh slow down and lose control. De policewoman run away and lef some church children groaning because dem been in de minibus that de speedster hit.
Dem boys seh that is one good thing come from all dem meter. Imagine is less than 100 people dead pun de road fuh this year when last year was 190 and some other years was 240 and things like that. Things really change fuh de better and is now de force recognize how important de meter is.
One man challenge de meter and go to court. De man tell de magistrate how de meter don’t wuk right and de magistrate call pun de police to prove it. De policeman go to de window and point it at a car and it come back wid a reading.
Dem boys seh that de magistrate get ready to sentence de driver when de man ask de policeman to point de meter to de wall. De magistrate nearly charge de wall fuh speeding. De meter show that de wall was moving at six miles per hour or 10 kilometre per hour.
But dem boys warning others not to challenge again because de police does set de meter at minus 10 when dem going to court.
Talk half. Lef half.

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