Something must be wrong with some women

Oct 19, 2008 Features / Columnists, My Column

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Two women died and two ended up in hospital after being beaten so badly that it is a mystery that they actually are alive today. The two who died were wives, having spent a long time in bed with their killers.

During those times, though, they were beaten repeatedly by the same men to whom they yielded their bodies and provided some comfort.

One of the women did the same to the man who put her in hospital and this was not the first time that he hammered the daylights out of her. All the women actually went back for more of the beating and only they know why.

One young woman said to me the other day that these women go back or stay in the house and take the numerous beatings because they have children whom they care for and often they have no means of support or simply no alternative shelter.

I could not buy that argument although as a boy growing up I realized that the women of those days listened to their parents – particularly their mothers – that relations were supposed to last forever.

Death was often no excuse to go looking for a new partner but over time that changed because indeed the women were particularly vulnerable in what was considered a man’s world.

The better educated woman learnt that she was better able to move on, leaving an abusive partner behind but more often than not, she always seemed constrained by her children of the union.

If she is lucky, the children grow up to become adults and serve as a defence mechanism. I have known men going after their fathers who decided that the woman needed to be taught a lesson.

However, the women who are killed are all young so unless they have brothers who would rush to their rescue, they are at the mercy of the abuser.

Some fight back. There was a woman who decided that enough was enough so she waited until her abuser dropped off to sleep. She heated oil in a pan and doused him.

The man sprang out of his sleep like a bat from hell and ended up in hospital. Suffice it to say that he never beat the woman again because he was not brave enough to share the same house with her.

However, not many women are so violent so they get their revenge in other ways, not least among them by being unfaithful because they crave the love that the spouse fails to provide.

But all this abuse is unnecessary. A report in Saturday’s issue of Kaieteur News on the beaten woman who ended up in hospital stated that the woman called the police on four occasions and got no response. Even neighbours failed to get the police to move to the woman’s rescue.

What is unfortunate is that when this woman leaves hospital, she is going to go back to the abusive relationship and she may be killed, as was the woman in West Berbice.

This is a slightly different scenario. The man accused her of infidelity and would often beat her. When the neighbours summon the police the woman would either opt to press no charges or simply refuse to cooperate with the investigations.

There are reports that on one occasion the woman actually abused the neighbours for getting involved. She has been silenced and the man must now enjoy my tax dollars.

The woman who was killed on West Demerara reportedly often left the home and would go to her relatives only to return to the abusive situation.

The various women’s groups talk about training the police to deal with cases of domestic violence but at the same time the police report that they cannot make a case if the victim does not cooperate.

In my simple mind, I feel that if the police see evidence of abuse they could get the victim to hospital. And that is not going to be too difficult because when people are in pain they are often willing to cooperate.

A photograph should suffice for the benefit of the magistrate and the testimony of others should do the rest. There must be some way to remove the victim from the criminal equation.

A magistrate once caused a woman to be killed in Sophia because for him life was a joke. The woman had gone to the police who in turn had led a successful prosecution.

The magistrate allowed the man to leave the court so that he could collect his toothbrush, towel and other accessories. The man simply went home and killed the woman and believe it or not, he never got the death penalty.

The experts say that abusive men learn the habit from the home in which they are raised. I feel that they need not grow up to be abusive men because the society is generally against spousal abuse. I further feel that not enough is being done to tutor men to love women.

Men of Purpose is a name in my book and I would love for someone to tell me when was the last time the body went into a community to help young men fashion relationships.

It is sad that men are trying to rid the world of women without whom life as we know it will cease. It is also sad that the society is allowing it to happen, only talking up when the victim is dead. “If only was somebody fuh me”, knowing fully well that they would only cry and let life move on.

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