Dealing with troubled relationships

Oct 18, 2008 Editorial

Hardly a week goes by without some tragic incident involving domestic violence. This past week we were reminded of just how serious this problem is becoming in our country.
On Monday, Nafeeza Khan, a 25-year-old young mother of three was stabbed to death in her Goed Fortuin home following what was described as a differences she had with her paramour.
Then on Tuesday we read that a bride of just four months, Trevlyn Nicholson, a 23-year-old mother of one was brutally hacked to death in what is also suspected to be a case of domestic violence.
In both of these cases there were clear indications that the relationships were marred by frequent quarrels and bouts of violence. Persons said to be knowledgeable about the relationships in both cases indicated problems in the relationships.
In most of the cases involving domestic violence, persons knowing about these troubled relationships have either not intervened or intervened too late to prevent the tragic consequences. Given the frequency with which troubled relationships are leading to maiming and murder, we urge that a concerted attempt be made to address what is becoming a serious social problem.
Not so long ago, the government launched a national committee to deal with the rising trend of suicides. A similar committee is needed at this time to address the worrying incidence of domestic violence since it is clear that this is a problem that is much too big for the law enforcement authorities who more often than not lack the training and experience to deal with the reports they have of domestic violence.
Friends, neighbours and communities must be educated about the red flags of domestic problems. When these flags appear, there should be a response. It is unfortunate when neighbours and friends wait too late before they intervene.
However individual responses are never going to be good enough to make a difference. What is needed is a truly national effort to educate the Guyanese people about the dangers of domestic abuse.
A simple quarrel can easily escalate into murder. Thus, interventions need to be made, especially in troubled relationships. In this regard we feel there is an important role for religious and community organizations.
These organisations should be pro-active in seeking out troubled relationships since very often frustration builds up when there is no resort to someone to talk to or someone whose help can be sought to resolve a problem.
Counseling is also needed. There is an abject lack of these services in the communities in which they are most needed. While Guyana is yet to develop a strong culture of providing these services, the time is now propitious for every community to have at its disposal persons trained to provide counseling and support to families that are having difficulties in relationships. It is a noteworthy trend also that quite a number of cases involving the use of violence against the person is associated with broken relationships. Judging from the cases that have been making the news, many men who have failed to win back the affection of a loved one, have resorted to violence against those rejecting their advances.
This is yet another troubling social problem and again requires public education on how to deal with rejection and how to move on after a broken relationship.
We believe that emotional problems, be they mental or matters of the heart, are legitimate matters of public health and as such we urge the Ministry of Health to network with the many social, religious and community groups within our society to come up with a national campaign aimed at healing troubled relationships and rejection.
We urge public education on anger management and other related subjects which can help to reduce the high incidence of domestic violence in society.
A great deal of progress has been made on the legislative front in dealing with domestic violence. It is time for initiatives that address the problems arising in relationships.

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Dealing with troubled relationships

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