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Balls abound

Oct 03, 2008 Features / Columnists

The Parrot reads a lot; newspapers that is. Those of you who share this trait would know that in addition to the hard news articles, there are light ones; some of which are humorous. Well, it depends on your sense of humour.

Some which are meant to be humorous fizz out as poor attempts to “tickle the funny bone”. Nevertheless, there are some good ones aside from the comics in some of the local dailies, especially this paper and, to some extent, the one in Rabb Street.

The Rabb Street has its weekly White RUMblings (WR) column in which some strong political positions are taken; positions that are clearly unfavourable to the ruling party.

An attempt at humour is woven into the articles for satirical purposes. Satire is accepted; can evoke a hearty laugh and can lead to corrective action being taken to address the issue in focus. Fair in principle.

The most recent White RUMblings piece alluded to the production of bull$%&* locally. Of course, it was premised in the context of alternative fuel. Well, so it began. After reading it, a past Link Show came to mind.

By the way, what happened to the Link? De-linked? Let’s hear Mr. RUN. Anyway, the Link story, as enacted by the Radney fellow, and the White RUM piece provided some perspiration, ah, my bad, “inspire-ration” to write this squawk.

As a li’l boy, like all li’l boys, growing up, recreational opportunities were centered on balls; cricket; football; rounders; plug-in-de-middle; volleyball; tamarind balls and jacks, ah sorry that’s for girls. It was all about balls. Even making go-carts and scooters involved balls.

The bearing that used to make them had balls which, if not free to rotate, caused the contraption not to move. So balls had to be free to move. Everything rotated around balls. Balls were everywhere.

Today is no different; even more are around; basketballs; squash balls; tennis balls; handballs (not what you are thinking); netballs; meatballs and so on.

Balls have a prominent place in society; so prominent that some prominent ones spew balls; again, not what you are thinking. Balls abound and freely roam.

Some, not balls, people, in their eloquent (so they think) discourse, produced a multitude of verbose balls. They have the unique ability to “metamorphosise” words into balls.

Yes, they are the Houdini of balls. Balls flourish around these balls czars. In reading the dailies and looking at guy-telly, it is evident that the production of balls is high.

If it were an export commodity then we would have been seriously affected by the financial crisis on Wall Street. Thankfully it’s for local “consumption”.

From local analysis, it is clear that the Lincoln man is talking balls; the over-ripe Mayor always utters balls; the Place of CONgress is filled with balls; sidelining Uncle Murray took balls; the Vice Phrogrem on the Half-dozen station is sheer balls; RumJHATTan, like the over-ripe Mayor, is filled with balls; some private news casts produce balls; many television local programming are plain balls; some Talk Show hosts host balls; some minibus drivers doing balls; the West Indies team playing balls, if they continue like that, they would end up playing with their own ——. White RUMblings last piece was permeated with plenty balls.

The Parrot would say it takes balls to write this. Has Uncle Glenn the balls to publish this balls? Only one way to know; if you are reading this balls, then he has.
Squawk! Squawk!

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