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Screams from ice-cream

Sep 26, 2008 Features / Columnists

The Parrot has been paying some attention, not too much, to the hIntellectual debate between Uncle Freddie and Uncle Ravi and the occasional chiming in by the Peeper; kudos to Uncle Glenn for facilitating.

He has not only been facilitating this, but others; not necessarily hIntellectual ones, but some that provide an opportunity for those who just want to be heard when others read. Some, who cannot be audible, resort to being readable; columnists, yours truly too. Over the last few weeks, every issue discussed seems like a debate. It’s debate, debate and more debate.

Pit latrine is now a debate; the Lincoln man uninvited guests is a debate; his current location is a debate; the sidelining of Uncle Murray after his presentation at the EPA consultation is a debate; the EPA is a debate; who assisting Mark to giveaway stuff like the short man from the Half Dozen channel is a debate; the same short man’s infrequent appearance on his Vice programme is a debate.

Uncle Glenn selling more paper than the others is a debate; how some prisoners getting guns and cell phones in jail is a debate; how some minibuses still got music set is a debate; how the other short man’s (who is on trial in NY) lawyer looking for a lawyer to defend he, the lawyer that is, is a debate; Wall Street financial woes is a debate; the dumpsite is a debate; extra lessons is debate; Usain bolting is a debate, well according to Carl; hosting shows at the Stadium is a debate; Obama and Mc Cain debating whether to still have their debate; the debate competition is a debate; writing this squawk was a debate; even Uncle Bob’s absence is a debate.

However, everybody agree that the financial situation at City Hall is NOT a debate; that calls for faith. Ah, don’t the citizens have! The less said about this, the better; eagerly awaiting the outcome of the inquisition.

Anyway, getting back to Uncle Freddie and others. The Peeper noted the vast amounts of ice-cream that Uncle Freddie had and which melted as a result of power outages.

I have to disagree on the cause of the melting. For sure it’s not as a result of global warming. I feel it’s as a result of heat that emanated from the debates he is involved in.

Over the years, the heat accumulated and reached the intensity required to melt the tasty treat; a treat that’s a delight to the young and not so young, and of course, Uncle Freddie. The Parrot never knew that Uncle Freddie loves ice-cream so much. Thanks Peeper.

The melting of his ice-cream has provided a much sought explanation. The mystery of Uncle Freddie’s screams has been solved. In reading his rants, his screams can be “heard”. These screams are the end product of the digestive process of ice-cream.

In the human alimentary system, the end process after digestion results in the waste found in the pit latrine. This waste cannot be kept in the system.

One can suffer injuries in trying to keep the waste within. The same principle applies to Uncle Freddie after digesting ice-cream; the screams must be released.

Often, screams can be false alarms, exaggerated and can convey the wrong impression. This can explain Uncle Freddie’s rants; rants that have been proven wrong and which have generated heated debate resulting in liquid ice-cream. Doesn’t take a hIntellectual to “melt” that for “digestion, eh? Debate?
Squawk! Squawk!

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