Shame and the Public Intellectual

Sep 14, 2008 Features / Columnists, Ravi Dev

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Mr Frederick Kissoon has expressed his admiration for the philosophy of Mr Eusi Kwayana. It is a pity that he does not seek to apply it to his own praxis.

In a letter discussing the merits or demerits of describing the PPP government as an “elected dictatorship” or as a “tyranny of the majority”, Mr Kwayana had cautioned: “Using the (latter) phrase on a national scale…is tempting, but unfair to many assumed to be part of that majority.” The focus, he suggested, ought to be on the behaviour of the elected representatives in Parliament.

Mr Kissoon, however, has not only merrily continued to castigate the Indians of Guyana as unreasoning, ignorant “fools” who vote (racially, unlike other Guyanese) for the PPP in a “Pavlovian” manner, but has actually widened his field of castigation.

Recently, he misrepresented the basis of their opposition to the construction of the Cultural Centre from the Indian Immigration fund.

Then he equated the rooting of East Indians spectators in the 70s and 80s for the Indian cricket team with Ronald Waddell’s proposal that African soldiers refuse to defend the state even though they are paid (and took an oath) to do so.

One has to worry about Mr Kissoon’s mental equilibrium (especially when one has conferred the title of “public intellectual” on the man – and he accepted!).

Even though not seized with Mr Kissoon’s formidable grasp of psychoanalysis, I wondered whether his compulsive Indian-bashing was related to his oft-repeated remark that he is ashamed to be an East Indian.

After all, even ignorant Indians like myself know that shame could distort peoples’ perceptions immensely. I decided to do some surfing on the subject and the following is from my very first hit:

. “Shame is a set of thoughts, feelings, and a belief: “I’m a worthless, defective, unlovable person, no matter what anyone says.”

The more of the following traits a person has, the more likely s/he is shame-based (ruled by a false self) and needs to work at personal recovery.

1) Semi-conscious core belief: “I am a bad, weak, unlovable, undeserving, inept, unattractive, stupid, powerless, worthless (person / man / woman / partner / parent / child).”

2) Excessively zealous, defensive, rigid, dogmatic, and/or “preachy” about “sin,” moral righteousness; God; the Devil; the Bible, Torah, or Koran; Hell; “the one true religion,” and/or about being “damned” or “saved.”

3) Habitual self-centeredness: significant “egotism.”

4) Having one or more active addictions to substances (including sugar and carbohydrates), activities (e.g. work, spending, gambling, or working out), certain relationships (codependence), and/or an emotional state (e.g. excitement, rage, spiritual ecstasy, or sexual arousal and release.

5) Constant belittling, discounting, and criticism of one’s self and/or others.

6) Repeatedly choosing unchallenging, menial jobs below personal capabilities; Avoiding “responsibilities” excessively.

7) A compulsion to rescue needy or hurting others; championing and identifying with “the underdogs.”

8) Having few or no real friends; and/or being consistently drawn to other (unrecovering) wounded, needy companions and partners.

9) Excessive social isolation or a compulsion to socialize and be charming and the center of attention.

10) Excessive sensitivity and defensiveness to imagined or actual criticism or rejection.

11) Habitually avoiding eye contact, and being apologetic or defensive about that.

12) Often misperceiving objective feedback as criticism, and/or wrongly assuming unspoken criticisms.

13) Excessive concern with “Who’s fault is (some problem)?”; Often blaming Self or others.

14) Feeling “irrationally” guilty and/or anxious about earned successes (The “Imposter Syndrome”).

15) Obsessing about “my rights” or “I (don’t) deserve…,” or “equality” or “fairness.”

16) “Endlessly” (re)focusing on past “mistakes” in private or publicly.

17) Habitually putting one’s own opinions, needs, and welfare last (vs. equal).

18) Having an unreasonable fear of “failure” or “making mistakes.”

19) Never apologizing or admitting “mistakes” or reflexively apologizing all the time.

20) Habitually unflattering, inappropriate, and/or “sloppy” clothing, grooming, and/or hygiene.

21) Excessive focus on personal, professional, social, and/or dwelling appearances.

22) Compulsive perfectionism (“I can’t help it”), and/or a driven need to “win,” and/or “be # 1.”

23) Compulsively “shading the truth” or lying directly or by omission, and denying it.

24) Resisting or avoiding preventive and/or needed medical care: rarely or never seeing a doctor, dentist, gynaecologist, or eye specialist for checkups or illnesses; not getting or taking prescribed medications.

25) Choosing unhealthy diets, habits (e.g. smoking), lack of exercise, and/or toxic environments – and ignoring, deflecting, minimizing, intellectualizing (explaining/analyzing), or joking about this.

26) Rarely buying anything “nice” or “special” for one’s self, or taking fun trips or vacations.

27) Deflecting and/or rejecting others’ compliments, and “being very hard on myself.”

28) Chronically giving time and energy to others and getting little or nothing in return.

29) Avoiding self-assessment for false-self wounds, and/or true personal recovery.

30) Repeatedly choosing, justifying, and tolerating (“toxic) relationships, situations, and/or environments which promote major shame, guilt, anxiety, and/or confusion.

31) Repeatedly taking impulsive risks that result in self-harm, humiliation, and/or loss of self respect. Denying or justifying an active addiction is a prevalent example.

32) Rarely asking for what one wants, or asking anxiously and expecting rejection, rather than asserting calmly; Being timid, passive, quiet, reserved, or aggressive, self-centered, and/or a bully.

33) Not setting and/or enforcing wholistically-healthy limits (boundaries) with Self and others.

34) Tolerating or justifying a core belief like “I don’t deserve or expect success, love, security, comfort, friends, and/or nice things.”

35) Self-sabotage: repeatedly “setting one’s self up” for failure, disappointment, frustration, and/or losses, and feeling or saying “I can’t help it” or “I deserve it.”

36) Frequently choosing long-suffering victim, saint, or martyr roles in key relationships and social settings, and not questioning why.

37) Choosing a direct-contact human-service profession – e.g. clergy, counselling, medicine, education, law enforcement, consulting, coaching, training, customer service, casework.

Individuals who may know Mr Kissoon more intimately than myself should suggest to him whether or not he ought to visit Dr Bhiro Harry who deals with these psychological issues. He shouldn’t be ashamed – Mr Kissoon says he’s just crazy about “Harry”.

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