Treating others the way you would like to be treated

Sep 01, 2008 Letters

DEAR EDITOR,
“I have given to the nation as its watch words DISCIPLINE, PRODUCTION, TOLERANCE; they apply as much to you, the young people, as to your parents. You learn to live together in peace, or you fight it out and destroy one another. The second alternative makes no sense and is sheer barbarism. The first alternative is civilised and is simple common sense.…”

Dr Eric Williams, First Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago, on the occasion of the Independence Youth Rally at the Queen’s Park Oval on August 30th, 1962.

What is tolerance? UNESCO’s Declaration of Principles on Tolerance defines tolerance as “respect, acceptance and appreciation of the rich diversity of our world’s cultures, our forms of expression and ways of being human. It is fostered by knowledge, openness, communication, and freedom of thought, conscience and belief. Tolerance is harmony in difference.”

Tolerance refers to an attitude of openness and respect for the differences that exist among people. Although originally used to refer to ethnic and religious differences, the concepts of diversity, tolerance and acceptance can also be applied to gender, people with physical and intellectual disabilities, and other differences, too.

Tolerance means respecting and learning from others, valuing differences, bridging cultural gaps, rejecting unfair stereotypes, discovering common ground, and creating new bonds, so that we belong to a people “living together in peace”, as Dr. Williams said in 1962. Tolerance, in many ways, is the opposite of prejudice.

But does tolerance mean that all behaviours have to be accepted? No. Behaviours that disrespect or hurt others, or behaviours that break social rules, should not be tolerated. Tolerance is about accepting people for who they are — not about accepting bad behaviour.

Tolerance also means treating others the way you would like to be treated. Tolerance not only includes gritting one’s teeth and putting up with other people and their opinions, but rather demands the acceptance, if not of the opinion itself, then at least of the other person.

Tolerance requires, as a further prize for the renunciation of the unconditional implementation of one’s own claims to well-being and happiness, a guarantee of participation, of the unswerving chance to be able to contribute to the community according to one’s own beliefs.

Tolerance and Acceptance are used interchangeably, and, in many cases, erroneously. True acceptance means possessing both tolerance and social comfort for a particular group of people. The social aspect of acceptance is just as crucial as tolerance. Even within the midst of unbounded tolerance, social isolation is painful for those who are not truly accepted.

Acceptance, requires true understanding, recognition that the obvious difference – the race, religion, colour of skin, lifestyle – are mere decorations on the person beneath. It is a meeting of peoples that delves under the surface to knowledge of the full humanity of the other. Acceptance is one of our greatest sources of power.

Building tolerance, acceptance, and trust in diverse communities takes time and commitment. Social, community, business, political, and religious leaders bear a heavy responsibility for promoting tolerance and acceptance of all people of diverse faiths, cultures, and countries.

They must teach this generation that unity and tolerance cannot be promoted simply by treaties and diplomatic understandings, by symposiums and debates. We must learn to love each other in our social and individual lives. The cost of intolerance is too heavy to ignore. Pastors and priests, Pandits and Swamis, Imams and monks, and religious leaders of all faiths must emphatically put forward before the public that love and compassion are the basic bonds of humanity.

Hatred is conquered by love, ignorance by knowledge, and superstition by right thinking. Each one of us is called upon to promote these values, not only for our social and community welfare, but also for our individual peace, happiness, and prosperity. It is by transforming ourselves that we transform the world.

The key to transformation is the transformation of the soul. When we work together, we can certainly create a better world by understanding the purpose of the universe and identifying ourselves with it.

Sectarianism, bigotry, and its horrible descendant – fanaticism – have long possessed this beautiful earth. They have filled the earth with violence, drenched it often and often with human blood, destroyed civilization, and sent whole nations to despair.

The call for unity and love and tolerance is the voice of the prophets, saints, and seers of all traditions. If we fail to heed this call, our civilization is doomed to destruction. This is the merciless law of history. Dr. Williams asked to “learn to live together in peace”; President Kennedy urged us to “live together with mutual tolerance, World peace, like community peace, does not require that each man love his neighbour – it requires only that they live together with mutual tolerance, submitting their disputes to a just and peaceful settlement.”

The human family is very diverse, with many different beliefs and cultures and ways of life. Many conflicts in our world are caused when people are intolerant of the ways that others see the world. Learning tolerance is an important cornerstone to creating a better world.

Teaching tolerance is important, not just because it is part of our heritage, but because the person who learns to be open to differences will have more opportunities in education, business, and many other aspects of life. Success in today’s world — and tomorrow’s — depends on being able to understand, appreciate, and work with others.

Like all attitudes, tolerance is often taught in subtle ways. Even before they can speak, children closely watch — and imitate — their parents. Children of all ages develop their own values, in great part, by mirroring the values and attitudes of those they care about. Parents can teach tolerance by example — and in other ways, too.

Talking together about tolerance and respect helps children learn more about the values you want them to have. Giving them opportunities to play and work with others is important as well. We should be aware of the way we talk about people who are different from ourselves: avoid jokes that perpetuate stereotypes.

Although some of these may seem to be harmless fun, they can undo attitudes of tolerance and respect.
Educators can no longer assume that children will learn tolerance, empathy, and responsibility in the home. Some educators might argue that they are being asked to fix a problem that is beyond the scope of what they teach in school.

Although schools are a microcosm of the larger society and teachers alone cannot eliminate intolerance, educators certainly can make significant contributions to decreasing racism, religious bigotry, and gender inequalities. Within the classroom, a teacher’s attitude toward diversity is the most significant factor in a student’s development of sensitivity towards cultural and ethnic concerns.

We need to move beyond just celebrating diversity to acknowledging, and then in time celebrating, our commonality. We need to identify the core values that bind us – things that are part of the foundation we want for our society: democracy, freedom of speech, equality of opportunity, rights for individuals, decency, and fairness.

We need a society that moves beyond tolerance. We need to move to a society that is not just about acceptance, but mutual acceptance. This is based on interacting, on interfacing, on creating a common understanding, and on truly becoming a society at ease with its diversity. This is something much more meaningful, much deeper and much more sustainable.

Deosaran Bisnath