Dem boys seh...Bharrat want Dactarate too

Dem boys seh…Bharrat want Dactarate too

Aug 22, 2008 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

Old people always seh that de daag yuh pelt gun be de same daag that gun save yuh behind. Bharrat cuss Yesu but he now got to call Yesu, Dr. Yesu. People come from far to bestow de honour pun de man and dem boys seh that when de man get de award he wave it in de air.

After all is Carifesta.

Now Bharrat petitioning de United Nations fuh somebody mek he a doctor too. De UN people ask he if he think that Doctorate does give away like that and he seh that if Yesu can get one, he want one too. He also seh that if he ain’t get one he can’t cuss Yesu over Queens Atlantic no more because people gun know that de man is a big one wid honours.

Anyhow, when Dr Yesu mek he speech he tell de whole place how he was a tax inspector in London—that ain’t ordinary—and how he was a tax inspector under Burnham. But Bharrat did want to insult de man to tell he fuh attend some tax seminar that de only thing people get from it was de food.

Dem boys seh that when Dr Yesu was a tax inspector Bharrat wasn’t even a tax clerk. Now people want to know who can teach who.

De Ministry of Agriculture headed by DR Robert put in security camera and every day de place use to lock up tight when people dun wuk. DR Robert even put a guard but yet when de morning come things missing. Why DR? It ain’t stand fuh doctor; it stand fuh De Rass (ta).

One morning was two computer and de printer. Another time was de time book wha de drivers use to sign in to show how dem using gasoline. Right away Detective Robert claim how he solve de problem. He tell de whole Ministry how is some driver get in contact wid a guard and dem plan de attack because is only a driver gun want to damage de time book.

Next thing, de NIS start fuh holla. Robert claim how he gun solve de problem. He put in security camera and he put a monitor pun de watchman desk.

De wood ants attack de Ministry and de watchman ain’t see. But is a good thing de image does get record because Robert play back de tape. He see how de man try fuh break de door. Then de man watch de camera, pull he clothes over he head and go back to breaking de door.

But is when de people at Foreign Affairs ketch de man in de roof. In fact, dem ketch de man in de ceiling. De man enter de building and when dem guard check de building dem see a movement.

But old people does seh that patience is virtue. Dem see when de man try fuh move he fall out de ceiling. Now he and de wood ants doing three years in Camp Street and is now Dale Erskine got trouble. He got to worry wheh fuh secure.

And dem boys come to Carifesta. If yuh see de planning fuh this afternoon. Bharrat mek a special suit and Frank suddenly feel that he got to walk round wid cigar in he mouth.

Priya mek a special effort fuh move dem mad people from de street and she got to wear dark shades to de Carifesta opening. A mad woman drop one cuff in she eye when she de Priya try fuh lift up de woman from de pave.

But even before that, one man bun down de Psychiatric Ward because he didn’t want nobody fuh use it to put up street vendors.

And is this mek dem boys seh that de whole system mad. Dem carry de man to court and de magistrate ask he certain questions. “Yuh mad?” “No maam.” “What yuh name?” “Leonard.” “Wheh yuh live?” “In a house.”

Right away de magistrate claim how de man ain’t mad and he fit to stand trial fuh bunning down de Psychiatric Ward.

She remand he to jail and it ain’t hard to know wheh he deh because right outside he window dem have two fire engines park up, waiting fuh yuh know what?

Talk half. Lef half.

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